Thailand by Bicycle

Day 22: Gringo, gaijen, ice mutant…farang (“westerner” in Thai)

[ Sally typing ]

I think this trip has caused a bit of an identity crisis in me. I find myself muttering under my breath, “stupid farang so rude!” Oh wait, I’m farang! Dangit! I’ve seen so many westerners being rude, condescending, and presumptious on this trip that I often feel embarrassed and apologetic about my own status as a westerner.

This is strictly an internal struggle. Thai  people are incredibly polite and friendly, so I don’t feel that I’ve ever suffered as a result of being a foreigner here in Thailand. Plus, traveling with Tommy, who is half-Chinese, seems to earn me some street cred here in Asia. People are really interested in him, his eyes, often asking about his ethnicity and wondering if he might be Thai. Then they glance my way and the conversation abruptly ends. But I imagine that after working out Tommy’s ethnicity the conversation continues like so:

them: and where are you from? You must be some sort of rare white American of mixed European descent, very unusual, your features are so striking! Your skin…so pale and pasty! You must be an English / Finnish mix?

me: *demuring* no, no, American of English, French, German descent actually.

them: *gasp* how unusual! Very beautiful you are! You a model?

…the fantasy goes on like that for quite a while, them complimenting me, me blushing and giggling, too humble to accept their kind words.

So much for the daydream. I can’t deny it, I am the white devil, despite my 3 weeks of tanning in the tropics which has taken me from a cool-white shade of “ghost” complete with blue capillary undertones, to an ever-so-slightly warmer “parchment” hue.

Tourist ghettos

I find it interesting that tourists tend to flock to places that are catering exclusively to tourist, and as such these places have almost nothing to do with the local culture. It’s still interesting to visit these places, all over the world, to see the local adaptations to westerners expectations.

Today, I voluntarily ventured onto Khao San Road, which is the notorious tourist ghetto of Bangkok. The surrounding area of Banglamphu is actually quite nice and worth a day of wandering. There are wats, parks, cute shops frequented by locals. There’s also some interesting history here, and having the backstory will enrich your visit to this neighborhood.

Khao San is nestled inside Banglamphu and it’s chocked full of guest houses, food carts, vendors hawking inane garbage, bars, and restaurants. If you want a photo-realistic depiction of Buddhist monk smoking a giant bong on a tshirt, Khao San is the place. I find that fascinating. Over years of trial and error, the locals have discovered that one of the best money-making opportunities is the bong-smoking monk shirt. This says a whole lot more about western culture than it does about Thai culture, don’t you think? And it’s funny, but it’s also a bit disappointing that westerners are apparently most responsive to that sort of mindless imagery. The locals are just trying to make a buck, I can’t imagine there is a deep-rooted passion for monk-bong imagery.

Ok, let’s be fair. Khao San is not just for any old foreigner. It’s definitely a twenty-something crowd and that has a lot to do with the high-fiving, beer-chugging behavior that abounds here. But apparently, a lot of these people spend the whole of their Bangkok experience there in the single block of Khao San, never venturing out to explore the rest of the city. More power to ‘em, I couldn’t stand more than 10 minutes in the place before I ran away, stupid farang!

Day 21: The largest aquarium in South East Asia!

[ Sally typing ]

I had spent the day wandering Siam Square and the surrounding area which is I guess a shopper’s paradise. I hate shopping, but I needed proper clothes to visit the temples here (covered shoulders, closed-toe shoes — and I refuse to wear my cycling gear into the temple) so I set out to find some cheap duds that will suit my needs.

After procuring a temple-appropriate shirt, I am still in need of shoes. The funny thing is that the closed-toe shoes that I (a foreigner) am required to wear must be removed to actually enter the temple. So, they need to see the shoes that I am not wearing would not dare reveal my grotesque foreign toes, which are at present exposed, along with the rest of my foot, for all to see? Maybe this will make more sense once I’ve visited a temple, we’ll see what happens.

Anyway, at this point I’m totally sick of shopping and I’m really happy to find this random aquarium inside the shopping mall. It’s actually pretty good too! There are all sorts of species of fish that I don’t think I’d ever see in a Western aquarium. I have pics that I’ll upload later.

I enjoy reading the placards which are thankfully translated into English for me. There information revealed is pretty basic, but entertaining nonetheless. However, the place loses some credibility when it comes to its stance on Mermaids. Upon first introducing this “species” it admits that there is no solid scientific proof of their existence, but mermaids are treated with the same seriousness as any other species on display, and in fact get quite a bit more coverage on kiosks and wall murals like, “12 fun facts about Mermaids.” I learn that Mermaids can be quite beautiful but tend to have softer features than a beautiful human female, wtf??

Another funny thing I notice is the not-so-subtle corporate sponsorships and product placement. There are random Nestle signs everywhere. There’s also a sponsor called “True” which initially caused confusion for me on the Mermaid signs, “There are many more Mermaids than Mermen. TRUE.” What the-? Ohhhh…True is a company name, ok.

There are snack booths with a glass-door refrigerator full of water and little fishies swimming around — brought to you by Frigedaire. There’s a washing machine full of fish and I can’t help but feel worried for them, oh god please, nobody press the On button!

There’s also a shallow pool where you can sit with about 10 fat, sweaty tourists and have the dead skin eaten off your feet by Cleaner fish for about 50 cents. I politely decline. So bizarre.

After my aquarium experience, I walk back to the hotel and meet up with Tommy. Two folks from Tommy’s conference, Oy and Dirk, meet up with us at the hotel and we all go out on the town. Oy is Thai and is familiar with the city. It’s really nice having someone that can help get us around and answer any questions that have we have about Thailand.

Oy takes us to a traditional puppet theater (Joe Louis theater) where we see the story of the birth of Ganesha — so cool! Each puppet is controlled by three people who are visible on stage. There’s choreography in the puppeteers’ movements that mirror the expressions of the puppet. Thai puppetry is really different from any related art form that I’ve seen and I’d highly recommend it.

Afterwards, we grab dinner at a food garden where there is a jumbotron TV screen showing live concert footage on mute. Simultaneously, there are local acts on stage, directly in front of the jumbotron, performing for the diners.